Hello people, one of Average American's comments prompted me to write this article, and this is a subject I have spent great lengths of time on (probably more than any rationally person should). Exactly how much water is in the glass?
He said that he is a half full type person and that "lib and con" is a half empty type person. It reminds me of a joke (a purdy stupid one mind you):
An optimist says that the glass is half full...
A pessimist says that the glass is half empty...
An engineer says the glass is twice as big as it needs to be:)
Now, who's right?
Well, I think both the question and the answer are relative to the meaning that the orator is trying to achieve for a given situation. I will give three such examples where one of the responses is generally more correct than the others.
1. A husband trying to get his wife to fetch him a beer might say during the 4th quarter of a Sun's playoff game:
"hey honey, you need to quickly grab me another brew, for mine is half empty".
Notice that the half empty statement clearly states the importance of the half emptiness of his beer. If he said the beer was half full, then she may not clearly interpret the statement as being of great importance to her desperate bread winner, and may fail to provide him with another beer in a timely manner.
2. The man's wife in example number 1 may have another agenda though, telling her husband that she has deliberately left her stomach half full so that she could save room for cheesecake.
With that statement, she is clearly stating that her stomach is not yet full, therefore it needs cheesecake.
3. So the man, desperately needing his other beer because it is now 3/4 empty sharply replies:
"Woman, your gut is not half full, it is twice as big as it needs to be".
Needless to say, the poor sap slept on the couch for the next week.
How much water in the glass?
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Posted By: Normalized Vector Posted on: May. 22, 2006 at 12:39 AM |
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Based on 9 ratings.
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May. 23, 2006 at 01:30:48 AM
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| Guess if it's not about Bush, Mexicans, or Mexican Bushes, nobody but you and me dig it ac. Oh ya, the tree in fact does make noise. |
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May. 23, 2006 at 04:14:50 PM
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| Yes Mr. Antichrist, it was to laugh. Well done, I might say, Normalized Vector.
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May. 23, 2006 at 09:41:26 PM
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| I have a comment... Does it have to be a glass? What if your bowl was half full, I guess is would mean you had a hard night of drinking? Perhaps a half full plate? What if your blatter is half full? Do you have half have to go, or do you feel half relieved? These are thing a struggle with in my off time... And one more which has nothing to do with the glass idea... If a dolphin has been in water allit's life, and I jump in, is the dolphin wetter than I am. We are both submerged in water, but does the fact that he has been submerged langer make him wetter? |
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May. 23, 2006 at 10:15:16 PM
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| If a man goes off half-cocked, who's got the other half? Ans: Loreena Bobbit |
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May. 23, 2006 at 11:31:36 PM
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| Uh, AA... I gave three solid examples of how it applies to objects other than a glass. Here are the answers to the objects that you mentioned. 1. I'm assuming you mean your toilette bowl after drinking, then yes, it would be half full (assuming you puked in it). 2. I plate is only half full relative to a homeless person, an Ethiopian, or an anorexic otherwise it is half empty (in the case of a bulimic, it is half empty and the toilette is half full). 3. When your bladder is half full, it means that you need to take a leak, or are waiting till it fills up a little more. If your bladder is half empty, it means you are in the process of taking a leak or in the rare case of a woman pinchin' it off... Which brings me to the fact that it's only possible for a women to ever be half relieved, because we as men will piss all over the everything before we finish half empty. As for your dolphin question, I have an answer for that as well: It all depends on the porousness of the skin of you VS that of the dolphin, and how much water each animal displaces. Also, your hair will soak up some of that water as well. I don't know if you ever felt a dolphin, but their skin is pretty damn smooth, and it doesn't feel like it is that porous. Mix that in with the fact that if you are indeed an average American, then you probably displace more water than the dolphin, and you are probably purdy hairy. So with that said, you sir are wetter than the dolphin. |
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May. 24, 2006 at 05:33:31 PM
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| It appears that I may have made a mistake with the plates. For bulemics and lard asses, the plate is twice as big as it needs to be. |
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May. 24, 2006 at 06:47:10 PM
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| Where are my manners, I forgot to answer you mr moron. I'm not sure the real answer of your question, but I do know that the answer is not Loreena Bobbit... The man would be going off cockless, and I might warn you, she may be fully cocked and loaded. |
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May. 24, 2006 at 10:19:31 PM
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| Thank you for picking up the ball on that one NV.
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May. 30, 2006 at 07:10:47 PM
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| Just for the record:thank for MIC advice, I won't write anymore articles----just comments because they can't be trash LOL< LOL> LOL.
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by the way... grats on breaking the moronic onslaught of political flak with a good chuckle.
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