Soul. The only reason white people are voting for Barry White, I mean Barry Obama, is cuz the man's got Soul. He's shucked and jived his way into the hearts of middle America by preaching the gospel of Hope and Togetherness. What kind of song title is that?

Don't fall for it people! This brotha from a white motha shouldn't be on top of the Billboards let alone on top of the world. HIs #1 single is a one hit wonder, can't you see? All this talk about a prosperous future, a new kind of politics and sensible foreign policy ain't the chorus for America.

Turn that radio dial! Get back to your roots, I mean haystacks, and crank up that country music people. Bobby and the Toads are coming to a town near you. (Did you know the toad is smarter than the dolphin? It's true, look it up.) All you young rascals out there had better escort those pretty white girls to the Toads concert so they can see what real music is like.

Willy and HIllary will be the main performers and their talk is the real gospel. They've been there done that people! They took their act from a Little Rock all the way to a big White House. Past chart toppers include "Healthcare Reform for all" , "Who's got a Whitewater Land deal?" and "No Intern is my Intern" . These are oldies, but still goodies!

Their new album "Baby one More Time" has already hit the record stores and it's rising fast. The duo wants to be #1 again more than anything. Singles like "E-X-P-E-R-I-E-N-C-E" , "Healthcare No. 2" and "Won't you be my Running Mate Boy?" are sure to lift them into the stratosphere.

Barry has Soul, but that's not going to keep him on top. Who needs Soul when you can just sell it for more hit records like Willy and Hillary did!?

And that's the Word.